Oh, I love the way you shared each language with a story :D
For me, it was a bit different. My mother was born in Germany, but her parents are both Turkish. She was the first of the third generation of Gastarbeiter. My father came from Türkiye, so for the first 3 years of my life, I only spoke Turkish.
Then, when I went to kindergarten, I started leaning deeper into German. The duality of both languages had its peak in elementary school, where I used the Turkish "Ş" instead of the German "Sch".
For me, it was intuitive, but my teacher had a long discussion with me.
Throughout elementary school and high school, it became my main language, and even though I speak it every day, I am still not 100% sure with everything... But I guess that's normal :)
Now, as I got more into the online space, first only consuming YouTube videos but later also creating, I had to start learning English, but not just the standard school version, but the more casual speaking style. I had my problems at the beginning, but through every piece I wrote and even starting a podcast, I am where I am now, fluidly speaking 2 languages, but only half-assing my mother’s tongue language.
But I am so thankful for reading this and having a moment of reflection, and am so excited to one day speak with you in 2 languages simultaneously :D
As someone who speaks English only, I've always admired anyone who speaks more than one language ... and you speak FOUR. That may not seem like much from your perspective, but it's really impressive!
And I love how you look at and examine your relationship to each language from a variety of perspectives and with such well-thought-out depth. This is really well done.
Agree with all of this! Plus…I just cannot fathom how people’s brains work this way. I’m like Larry in that I only have English, and it feels like it would be so confusing having all of those thoughts bouncing around my head in different languages. I’m confused enough by English 🤣!
It can be a confusing potpourri haha, but the mind is so good at compartmentalizing. I‘m not running around thinking in Italian one second and then French in the next…much depends on the trigger and context.
I swear I land in Germany and within a day later my English already starts to deteriorate.
When I spent time in France, immersed in French with some new friends, I remember we went to London for a weekend. My friend Pepe would start talking to someone in English and switch half-sentence, and without noticing, back to French. Some of the best laughs…
Oh, Brigitte, this was stunning, stunning, stunning!! What a gorgeous ode to how languages (and language itself) shape(s) us. I will be reading this a few more times, to really sink into it, and to re-enjoy your insights and turns of phrases. And I will pass it along to some multilingual friends!
"[A] myriad selves dart to and fro like schools of tiny, slippery, glittering fish, and as it is impossible to catch them in the net of language, we generally content ourselves with summing up the extravagant flux of our lives in a few pat phrases [like]: ‘Yeah, had a great summer.’”
What an amazing quote. Your ability to source the perfect quote and then use it to capture something so true and ineffable on the page never ceases to astound me. Different languages do have completely different feels to them, and I even feel a little different when speaking them. But I'd never have been able to express it this beautifully.
You have a great gift and I'm grateful to call you a friend ◡̈
Such beautiful feeds, thank you so much, Rachel! I was so happy when I found this quote again (I had a different one first if you remember, but this one worked even better). I am so grateful for your support and friendship ✨
Zweisprachig aufzuwachsen war und ist eines der grössten Geschenke meines Lebens. Mir geht es ähnlich. Deutsch war für mich immer die Sprache meiner Eltern, meiner Kindheit und meiner ersten grossen Liebe.
Du hast wunderbar eingefangen, was Sprache vermag: Sie lässt uns die Welt nicht nur benennen, sondern auf ganz eigene Weise wahrnehmen. Dass ein und derselbe Gedanke in verschiedenen Sprachen anders klingt, anders fühlt und andere Bilder hervorruft, gehört für mich zu den schönsten Wundern des Lebens.
Eine wunderschöne Liebeserklärung an die Sprachen — und dass Deutsch darin einen so besonderen Platz hat, hat mir wirklich das Herz aufgehen lassen.
I am not as adept at languages as you are, but I still try. Before every foreign trip I have tried to study the language, and am no longer surprised that what I learned in my armchair really works. The problem is that most of them come and go. A year ago I was immersed in Dutch before a trip to the Netherlands, but now it is nearly gone from disuse. I am studying Irish because I am going to Ireland this coming summer, but I worry that it, too, shall pass.
The ones that have stuck are French and Japanese. You refered to languages having a "flavor." I think this might be what I call "mouth." I have a French mouth and a Japanese mouth, but despite much study I have yet to develop a Spanish mouth, although I can read Spanish quite well.
Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment, Jim. What an inquisitive mind you have, and I like this playfulness and curiosity around languages!
I also like your way of relating to “the mouth“ of languages. In my experience, this mouth expresses much of the way I relate to the language in my heart…not sure if that applies to you too. Thanks again.
I’ve come back to this a few times now. What struck me deeply is that it feels written with such reflection over time. Rather than reflecting for the sake of an essay. My experience of you is that you care to experience life at a depth most don’t. And that depth I suspect brings you great meaning.
“I belong to all four and completely to none.” Whoa.
And also “each language I speak is a beloved.” Thats so deep and intimate. It warmed my heart when I read it.
I so look forward to your pieces. They are deep and personal and contribute to me when I set aside the time to allow them to soak in. ❤️🙏
You got it right, Brigitte. I applaud you taking the time to get it just so. It think it’s why I admire what you write so much. Quality over quantity.
I have several essays that I think are 95% of the way there, but they’re not quite right yet. It’s one of the reasons why I wrote a business focused one this past week. I don’t like writing them as much but they’re easier I find because they are shallower and are mostly head and not heart 😵💫.
I loved this. It brought back a memory from the mid-70s, when I went to Germany after a year of studying the language to visit a pen pal I’d been writing to for six months. In a group setting, conversation was largely inaccessible. I could catch a word here or there, register tone, but not follow meaning. At one point, one of her friends noticed and they shifted into English, filling in gaps with translation. (One word I remember hearing repeatedly was Scheiße—which I later learned meant “shit.”)
What stayed with me more, though, was what happened at night. I began dreaming in German—not fluently, but within the narrow limits of what I actually knew. The same basic words repeated. The thoughts were constrained, the meaning simplified. It wasn’t that I had acquired the language—it was that my thinking itself had compressed to fit what I could express.
And then, another odd thing happened. When I returned to the States, I was standing with friends, talking about the trip, and used the word “indeed” in a sentence. They howled.
I find this profound: "What stayed with me more, though, was what happened at night. I began dreaming in German—not fluently, but within the narrow limits of what I actually knew. The same basic words repeated. The thoughts were constrained, the meaning simplified. It wasn’t that I had acquired the language—it was that my thinking itself had compressed to fit what I could express.“ Thank you for sharing all this, Elizabeth. This makes me continue to marvel at the wonders of our minds (and dreams)!
I didn’t quite get your anecdote and reference around "indeed"…did you say the German equivalent of this word?
This was beautiful, and made me yearn somewhat for an experience I've only had a glimpse and a taste of (living in Korea for 4 years). I suspect that your polylingual experience has even enriched your thinking and writing in English, in that ways perhaps that English-only speakers might not be capable of.
I remember hearing you speak about living in Korea! That is amazing and must have been such a formative (and hopefully formidable) life experience for you too. Did you already write about it somewhere, and can you speak some Korean?
As far as my thinking is concerned compared to English-only speakers are concerned that is ofc hard for me to gauge. What I know for sure though is how my understanding and humility have grown from having access to various ways + words to express and relate to things.
That makes sense; I don't truly "speak" Korean, to answer your question, but I learned and understand enough (surrounded by it every day! My husband is Korean) to grasp how different words for the same thing express differencet nuances and even make you _feel_ differently when you speak them...not to mention the words that don't exist in your native language that open your understanding to the world further! (Idioms are fascinating too). As I am sure you relate, no doubt far more so.
And yes, Korea was wonderful! It was like a mini-lifetime within a lifetime. I haven't written much about it so far, although I do mention it a little bit in one essay, "The Paradox of Travel."
Again, I loved this article -- you made me think about the multidimensional aspects of knowing multiple languages, and I'm glad my daughter is growing up learning both English and Korean. Hopefully it adds some of that depth to her life!
Thank you for this beautiful additional context, Brenna. I especially love this—it’s so true: languages even make you_feel_differently when you speak them. And those shifts in feeling then open up so much nuance and new doors of possibility, both within yourself and in how you relate to the world.
What a gift you‘re giving to your daughter. When my daughter was born, I chose to speak to her in German, especially for the first 12 years or so of her life (today, it’s more English than German). Such a path isn’t always easy to walk but I think it is worth it.
I'm losing my mother tongue as it was only spoken at home and long since have i and home parted.
Have you heard the joke what do you call someone who speaks 3 languages - trilingual. and someone who speaks 2 languages - bi lingual. Then what do you call someone who speaks one language - an american.
I enjoyed and learned some from your nuanced perception of languages. look at ta page of german and the same page in english.
Thank you, Karl—I think I’ve heard variations of that joke :) But while I can remember many words in other languages, I can’t remember jokes to save my life! What’s your mother tongue?
Brigette, this is amazing! I’m always super impressed by people who can speak multiple languages. I never learned a 2nd one well enough to count. I always think of that scene in Goodfellas when Tommy’s mom is telling the story about the old guy and whatever he says “sounds better in Italian”
You have all these idiomatic expressions and words for things that are better than whatever the English translation is. That is such a beautiful gift.
I loved reading this! Partly because, it's amazing you have learned and spoken four languages over your life! You also did such a beautiful job capturing how speaking another language and being in a foreign country has it's own unique imprint on who we are. Languages are so interesting because it's more than one word translated to another. They have their own personality that comes alive when you speak them.
Do you count numbers. fo math, in English or german?
My mother tongue is spanish. I lived in Germany a few years and started learning German. I've some vocabulary but can't assemble phrases properly or understand even high german. ONe of my german tutors said that she seeing the complexity of german she was glad to have learned it as a child. lDid you look at ta page of german and english translation of the same thing? In german the verb is at the end i believe. so you don't know what happening until the end of the sentence. Spelling in english needs an eidetic memory - ugh.
Oh, I love the way you shared each language with a story :D
For me, it was a bit different. My mother was born in Germany, but her parents are both Turkish. She was the first of the third generation of Gastarbeiter. My father came from Türkiye, so for the first 3 years of my life, I only spoke Turkish.
Then, when I went to kindergarten, I started leaning deeper into German. The duality of both languages had its peak in elementary school, where I used the Turkish "Ş" instead of the German "Sch".
For me, it was intuitive, but my teacher had a long discussion with me.
Throughout elementary school and high school, it became my main language, and even though I speak it every day, I am still not 100% sure with everything... But I guess that's normal :)
Now, as I got more into the online space, first only consuming YouTube videos but later also creating, I had to start learning English, but not just the standard school version, but the more casual speaking style. I had my problems at the beginning, but through every piece I wrote and even starting a podcast, I am where I am now, fluidly speaking 2 languages, but only half-assing my mother’s tongue language.
But I am so thankful for reading this and having a moment of reflection, and am so excited to one day speak with you in 2 languages simultaneously :D
This is so interesting and you should write about this too—and yes, it‘ll happen one day!
Yes, it will! And I guess I should slowly start thinking about the book I will gift you once we meet :)
As someone who speaks English only, I've always admired anyone who speaks more than one language ... and you speak FOUR. That may not seem like much from your perspective, but it's really impressive!
And I love how you look at and examine your relationship to each language from a variety of perspectives and with such well-thought-out depth. This is really well done.
Thank you Larry. Your words mean so much, around a theme and an essay that are emotionally close to my heart.
Agree with all of this! Plus…I just cannot fathom how people’s brains work this way. I’m like Larry in that I only have English, and it feels like it would be so confusing having all of those thoughts bouncing around my head in different languages. I’m confused enough by English 🤣!
It can be a confusing potpourri haha, but the mind is so good at compartmentalizing. I‘m not running around thinking in Italian one second and then French in the next…much depends on the trigger and context.
I swear I land in Germany and within a day later my English already starts to deteriorate.
When I spent time in France, immersed in French with some new friends, I remember we went to London for a weekend. My friend Pepe would start talking to someone in English and switch half-sentence, and without noticing, back to French. Some of the best laughs…
That’s nuts
Oh, Brigitte, this was stunning, stunning, stunning!! What a gorgeous ode to how languages (and language itself) shape(s) us. I will be reading this a few more times, to really sink into it, and to re-enjoy your insights and turns of phrases. And I will pass it along to some multilingual friends!
Wow, Jenny, this is the best feedback everrr.
"[A] myriad selves dart to and fro like schools of tiny, slippery, glittering fish, and as it is impossible to catch them in the net of language, we generally content ourselves with summing up the extravagant flux of our lives in a few pat phrases [like]: ‘Yeah, had a great summer.’”
What an amazing quote. Your ability to source the perfect quote and then use it to capture something so true and ineffable on the page never ceases to astound me. Different languages do have completely different feels to them, and I even feel a little different when speaking them. But I'd never have been able to express it this beautifully.
You have a great gift and I'm grateful to call you a friend ◡̈
Such beautiful feeds, thank you so much, Rachel! I was so happy when I found this quote again (I had a different one first if you remember, but this one worked even better). I am so grateful for your support and friendship ✨
Knowing another language (or two) is such an enriching, and rewarding skill as well as being so much fun!
Yes, it it. You speak Spanish, right?
I do. And I love it. 😍
Was für ein schöner Essay.
Zweisprachig aufzuwachsen war und ist eines der grössten Geschenke meines Lebens. Mir geht es ähnlich. Deutsch war für mich immer die Sprache meiner Eltern, meiner Kindheit und meiner ersten grossen Liebe.
Du hast wunderbar eingefangen, was Sprache vermag: Sie lässt uns die Welt nicht nur benennen, sondern auf ganz eigene Weise wahrnehmen. Dass ein und derselbe Gedanke in verschiedenen Sprachen anders klingt, anders fühlt und andere Bilder hervorruft, gehört für mich zu den schönsten Wundern des Lebens.
Eine wunderschöne Liebeserklärung an die Sprachen — und dass Deutsch darin einen so besonderen Platz hat, hat mir wirklich das Herz aufgehen lassen.
Liebe Sonja,
nun hast Du auch mir das Herz aufgehen lassen. Es freut mich sehr zu lesen, dass meine Worte auch Deine Erfahrung widerspiegeln.
Und Du hast ganz recht: es ist in der Tat eines der schönsten Wunder und Geschenke des Lebens, zumindest meines (und Deines) 💗
Wo lebst Du nun und wie erhältst Du Dein hervorragendes Deutsch?
A very evocative essay.
I am not as adept at languages as you are, but I still try. Before every foreign trip I have tried to study the language, and am no longer surprised that what I learned in my armchair really works. The problem is that most of them come and go. A year ago I was immersed in Dutch before a trip to the Netherlands, but now it is nearly gone from disuse. I am studying Irish because I am going to Ireland this coming summer, but I worry that it, too, shall pass.
The ones that have stuck are French and Japanese. You refered to languages having a "flavor." I think this might be what I call "mouth." I have a French mouth and a Japanese mouth, but despite much study I have yet to develop a Spanish mouth, although I can read Spanish quite well.
Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment, Jim. What an inquisitive mind you have, and I like this playfulness and curiosity around languages!
I also like your way of relating to “the mouth“ of languages. In my experience, this mouth expresses much of the way I relate to the language in my heart…not sure if that applies to you too. Thanks again.
Ah. No, just that teenagers don't typically use "Indeed" in a sentence.
Brigitte,
I’ve come back to this a few times now. What struck me deeply is that it feels written with such reflection over time. Rather than reflecting for the sake of an essay. My experience of you is that you care to experience life at a depth most don’t. And that depth I suspect brings you great meaning.
“I belong to all four and completely to none.” Whoa.
And also “each language I speak is a beloved.” Thats so deep and intimate. It warmed my heart when I read it.
I so look forward to your pieces. They are deep and personal and contribute to me when I set aside the time to allow them to soak in. ❤️🙏
And I‘ve come back to your comment a couple of times before responding. Your words mean a lot to me, James.
What you are quoting speaks to the meaning I assign to this topic. It took me a long time to "get this right" – may it even have taken my whole life!?
Thank you.
You got it right, Brigitte. I applaud you taking the time to get it just so. It think it’s why I admire what you write so much. Quality over quantity.
I have several essays that I think are 95% of the way there, but they’re not quite right yet. It’s one of the reasons why I wrote a business focused one this past week. I don’t like writing them as much but they’re easier I find because they are shallower and are mostly head and not heart 😵💫.
Both can beautifully co-exist :)
Sometimes, it‘s worth waiting for more clues until "the heart pieces" continue to write themselves ✨
Great point!
I loved this. It brought back a memory from the mid-70s, when I went to Germany after a year of studying the language to visit a pen pal I’d been writing to for six months. In a group setting, conversation was largely inaccessible. I could catch a word here or there, register tone, but not follow meaning. At one point, one of her friends noticed and they shifted into English, filling in gaps with translation. (One word I remember hearing repeatedly was Scheiße—which I later learned meant “shit.”)
What stayed with me more, though, was what happened at night. I began dreaming in German—not fluently, but within the narrow limits of what I actually knew. The same basic words repeated. The thoughts were constrained, the meaning simplified. It wasn’t that I had acquired the language—it was that my thinking itself had compressed to fit what I could express.
And then, another odd thing happened. When I returned to the States, I was standing with friends, talking about the trip, and used the word “indeed” in a sentence. They howled.
I find this profound: "What stayed with me more, though, was what happened at night. I began dreaming in German—not fluently, but within the narrow limits of what I actually knew. The same basic words repeated. The thoughts were constrained, the meaning simplified. It wasn’t that I had acquired the language—it was that my thinking itself had compressed to fit what I could express.“ Thank you for sharing all this, Elizabeth. This makes me continue to marvel at the wonders of our minds (and dreams)!
I didn’t quite get your anecdote and reference around "indeed"…did you say the German equivalent of this word?
This was beautiful, and made me yearn somewhat for an experience I've only had a glimpse and a taste of (living in Korea for 4 years). I suspect that your polylingual experience has even enriched your thinking and writing in English, in that ways perhaps that English-only speakers might not be capable of.
I remember hearing you speak about living in Korea! That is amazing and must have been such a formative (and hopefully formidable) life experience for you too. Did you already write about it somewhere, and can you speak some Korean?
As far as my thinking is concerned compared to English-only speakers are concerned that is ofc hard for me to gauge. What I know for sure though is how my understanding and humility have grown from having access to various ways + words to express and relate to things.
That makes sense; I don't truly "speak" Korean, to answer your question, but I learned and understand enough (surrounded by it every day! My husband is Korean) to grasp how different words for the same thing express differencet nuances and even make you _feel_ differently when you speak them...not to mention the words that don't exist in your native language that open your understanding to the world further! (Idioms are fascinating too). As I am sure you relate, no doubt far more so.
And yes, Korea was wonderful! It was like a mini-lifetime within a lifetime. I haven't written much about it so far, although I do mention it a little bit in one essay, "The Paradox of Travel."
Again, I loved this article -- you made me think about the multidimensional aspects of knowing multiple languages, and I'm glad my daughter is growing up learning both English and Korean. Hopefully it adds some of that depth to her life!
Thank you for this beautiful additional context, Brenna. I especially love this—it’s so true: languages even make you_feel_differently when you speak them. And those shifts in feeling then open up so much nuance and new doors of possibility, both within yourself and in how you relate to the world.
What a gift you‘re giving to your daughter. When my daughter was born, I chose to speak to her in German, especially for the first 12 years or so of her life (today, it’s more English than German). Such a path isn’t always easy to walk but I think it is worth it.
I absolutely agree that it's a path worth walking, or at least, venturing upon. Thank you for your kind, thoughtful words!
I'm losing my mother tongue as it was only spoken at home and long since have i and home parted.
Have you heard the joke what do you call someone who speaks 3 languages - trilingual. and someone who speaks 2 languages - bi lingual. Then what do you call someone who speaks one language - an american.
I enjoyed and learned some from your nuanced perception of languages. look at ta page of german and the same page in english.
Thank you, Karl—I think I’ve heard variations of that joke :) But while I can remember many words in other languages, I can’t remember jokes to save my life! What’s your mother tongue?
Brigette, this is amazing! I’m always super impressed by people who can speak multiple languages. I never learned a 2nd one well enough to count. I always think of that scene in Goodfellas when Tommy’s mom is telling the story about the old guy and whatever he says “sounds better in Italian”
You have all these idiomatic expressions and words for things that are better than whatever the English translation is. That is such a beautiful gift.
She‘s got a point! :) It is a beautiful gift (and worth the effort), and I thank you for reading, Matt.
I loved reading this! Partly because, it's amazing you have learned and spoken four languages over your life! You also did such a beautiful job capturing how speaking another language and being in a foreign country has it's own unique imprint on who we are. Languages are so interesting because it's more than one word translated to another. They have their own personality that comes alive when you speak them.
THANK you Michelle 💗
Do you count numbers. fo math, in English or german?
My mother tongue is spanish. I lived in Germany a few years and started learning German. I've some vocabulary but can't assemble phrases properly or understand even high german. ONe of my german tutors said that she seeing the complexity of german she was glad to have learned it as a child. lDid you look at ta page of german and english translation of the same thing? In german the verb is at the end i believe. so you don't know what happening until the end of the sentence. Spelling in english needs an eidetic memory - ugh.
When I count numbers/do math in my head, it‘s still in German. Spelling out letters too 😅